By: Alejandra Salgado 8/30/17 11:30PM
Do you ever feel hopeless and see no clear path and/or direction in life? It’s OK, we’ve all been there. It is a terrible feeling. We get submerged in all these negative thoughts and can’t seem to get them out of our mind. Then, you find yourself feeling less accomplished than what you really are. All I know is that this behavior needs to stop. I find myself in this roller coaster of emotions from time to time but eventually “pull it together.” Luckily, I gather my thoughts, get myself thinking positive thoughts and gear towards the brighter side of things. Once I’m out of the dark-hole of self-pity I feel silly for have being upset in the first place. Sadly, not everyone is able to do that and will still allow to give into these negative emotions. Giving these emotions power will lead in no clear path for our goals but a path of doubts and sadness. After considering all these thoughts and knowing I’m not alone it leaves the following questions: “Why do humans engage in self-loathing behavior?” If we know how damaging self-pity can be towards our goals why do we continue to do so?” Thankfully, Psychology is here to lead us towards a close answer.
Apparently, there is a specific word for this type of behavior. It is called, “Self-Sabotage.” Self-Sabotage means we act against our self-interest. Whether it be procrastinating, being our own worst critic and not looking out for our self interests. Author and Psychologist, Robert Firestone calls this behavior the, “critical inner voice.” According to Psychalive.org, “The critical inner voice doesn’t represent a positive sense of self that you can entrust in. Rather, it epitomizes a cruel “anti-self,” a part inside us that is turned against us. It casts doubt on our abilities, undermines our desires, and convinces us to be paranoid and suspicious toward ourselves and those close to us. This anti-self fills our mind with critical self-analysis and self-sabotaging thoughts that lead us to hold back or steer away from our true goals.”
The reason we engage in such self-destruction behavior from the start can be due to our early life experiences. For example, growing up with an non-supportive family who viewed you as incapable. This can lead to growing up feeling useless and not having a positive image of ones’ self. This isn’t the case for many but can be a great start in trying to figure out the “why?”
There are many theories, thoughts, ideas out there but clearly we can see a pattern. If you’d like to learn more, check out the links below.